Where does happiness come from?
Everyone wants happiness in their lives.
In some ways, we are obsessed with the idea of happiness and how to get it. I have seen many documentaries and talks given on happiness and they all have the same message: Happiness is not what you have on the outside, but it is what you have on the inside.
But why? Why can’t my new car, or “perfect family”, or my house in Maui, or a great job, or more money make me happy? It may sound cliché but the answer has to do with our ability to love ourselves. Even if I have the perfect family or job if I am unhappy with myself those things that I “plug in to” for happiness will drain me.
I am sure some of you might be saying, “I hear what you’re saying about the money thing, but I’d like to test that out for myself.” I get that. For some money does increase happiness; other elements can also contribute to our level of happiness. But keep in mind there are unhappy millionaires.
So how does one achieve this inner sense of peace and happiness? Well, of course, this is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Some of us have wounds from early on that continue to send messages to our selves that echo in our mind saying, without the love and acceptance of others we are not “good”. Some of us do not have those wounds but have this sense of emptiness. Some of us are just unbalanced in our lives and do not take care of ourselves. But the overarching goal in each of these is caring your yourself in a thoughtful, loving, compassionate, and comprehensive way.
Here are 6 ways to start taking care of yourself to start creating more happiness in your life:
- Put time, effort, and thinking into what renews you each day and then make time to do it, be present in these activities.
- Rest and care for your body. Common vulnerabilities for emotional distress are being hungry, tired, and sick.
- Meditate and/or pray. Widen our perspective and make space to observe and let go.
- Create space for yourself in life (alone time to reflect and recharge). We are all social creatures, even introverts. But we all need time to think about ourselves and take care of ourselves. We cannot give what we do not have.
- Create balance in your life. How can you be present in your life, but still be working towards your goals? This requires
- Connect with others. Happiness comes from connection. Connect with people you love to spend time with and find the joy in the moments.
Nothing lasts forever
Ultimately it is also important to remember that all emotional experience, good and bad, are temporary. This means that we will experience a variety of emotions throughout our days. Buddhist teachings state that most of our suffering comes from craving. This means that we try to cling to the positive experiences, which creates pain, and it means we are constantly seeking pleasure. Be open to experiences good and bad, and if we do good self-care we can “survive” the unpleasant times in a healthier way. So do yourself a favor and practice some form of self-compassion, no matter how small, daily.
If you are ready to start being more self-compassionate and have more happiness in your life, contact Jolene at Mindful Wellness Counseling for a free 15-minute consultation today.
